trimble 95© RUTH A. TRIMBLE - Instructor of ENGLISH


ASK YOURSELF

Why do we need to describe things?

What is the purpose of description?

When do we do description?

DESCRIPTION can help us create a picture in words. Words are the same as a photograph or an artist's pen. The reader has no other way of being able to see what you are describing. Thus the tools you use are very important in creating a word picture for the reader. What can we do?

If you use these tips for improving your skills in description you will find all kinds of writing is easier and will be more effective for your audience.
Whether you write a job application letter, a sales letter, describe a new outfit you just bought, or write a college essay, you cannot go wrong with these six suggestions for improving your description.
SPECIFIC and CONCRETE WRITING
Making Sentences Specific (from Langan - English Skills)
GENERAL
A boy came down the lane.
SPECIFIC
Jerry sprinted the length of Piedmont Avenue.
GENERAL:
A bird landed on the grass.
SPECIFIC
:A red cardinal swooped down, making a perfect landing on lawn in front of King Kamehameha's statue.

CREATE CLEAR PICTURES FOR YOUR READER

NOTE: You will be expected to use these six techniques in all your future writing so practice these NOW. They will never let you down! Here's how: trimble ©
Identify the metaphors, similies and personification in this passage:
(written by a Leeward student in ESL 100)
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The Nuuanu Pali overlook on the Windward side of Oahu displays the raw power of the wind. The trade winds blowing from the Pacific Ocean rumble like thunder in a heavy storm. A person has to literally yell to be heard because of the roaring air. The winds continually race across the lush green valley below and crash against the high, steep, grooved cliffs that surround the overlook. Clouds blow overhead like speeding trains. Birds flying above struggle to stay on course like falling kites because of the turbulence created by the wind. The air is damp and cold with moisture sucked from the ocean surface. The strong odor of salt in the air is laced with a hint of fresh cut grass picked up by the wind as it sweeps the valley floor. The Nuuanu Pali Overlook is a theater for the raw power of the wind.


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Compare with the professional writer

PICCADILLY BEFORE DAWN
W. Somerset Maugham

After the stir and ceaseless traffic of the day, the silence of Piccadilly early in the morning, in the small hours, seems bearely credible. It is unnatural and rather ghostly. The great street in its emptiness has a sort of solemn broadness, descending in a majestic sweep with the assured and stately ease of a placid river. The air is pure and limpid, but resonant, so that a solitary cab suddenly sends the whole street ringing, and the emphatic trot of the horse resounds with long reverberations. Impressive by reason of their regularity, the electric lights, self-assertive and brazen, flood the surroundings with a harsh and snowy brilliance. With a kind of indifferent violence they cast their glare upon the huge silent houses, and lower down throw into distinctness the long evenness of the park railings and the nearer trees. And between, outshone, like an uneven string of discoloured gems, twinkles the yellow flicker of the gas jets.

There is silence everywhere, but the houses are quiet and still, with a different silence from the rest, standing very white but for the black gaping of the many windows. In their sleep, closed and bolted, they line the pavement, helplessly as it were, disordered and undignified, having lost all significance without the busy hum of human voices and the hurrying noise of persons passing in and