1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

4. What's another word for synonym?

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

8. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

9. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

10. Why do they report power outages on TV?

11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

12. Is it possible to be totally partial?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

20. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

How come?

25.  If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a
Phillip's Screwdriver?

26.  Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack?
 
27.  Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
 
28.  If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
 
29.  Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?  Shouldn't they be wearing
night gowns?

30.  If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
 
31.  When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two
cents in, what happens to the other penny?

32.  Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
 
33.  Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
It's just stale bread to begin with.

34.  When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
 
35.  Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a  person who
drives a race car not called a racist?

36.  Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
 
37.  Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
 
38.  If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make
terrible?
 
39.  Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
 
40.  "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could
it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

41.  If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

42.  Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
 
43.  Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the
universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint
you will have to touch it to be sure?

44.  If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he
become disoriented?

45.  If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland
called "Holes."